for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
