I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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