i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
