Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
