Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
