I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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