Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
