okay pat passed out under dana's car
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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