At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
