I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
