whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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