Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize