New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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