What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
