Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
How external is "for external use only"?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
