is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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