If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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