Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
