Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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