I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
