She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
