Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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