Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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