I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
