I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
