She said her name was "party"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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