you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
