I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
