Porn is love you can see.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
