I wanna bring you to show and tell
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
