i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We need to get me chipped asap
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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