i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
