We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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