Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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