Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
