The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
