So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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