DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
