i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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