i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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