somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
