I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
