Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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