I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize