turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
