you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
