: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
