ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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