Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
