PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
