i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
