It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
