Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize