i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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