as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
