Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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