Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
