I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize