What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
