My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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