I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
