Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
