I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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