R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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