I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
