it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
