You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
