she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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