All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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