I will die if light touches me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
