I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize