I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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