btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
