Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
