yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
